How To Diffuse An Argument In the Workplace or At Home

If you have ever had a disagreement with anyone, whether in the workplace or at home, you know that it can turn ugly quickly. Whether you are standing before a colleague, peer, family member, or shopper at Walmart a simple statement seen from the wrong point of view can turn into a war. This is especial so when we become emotionally wrapped up in proving our point instead of coming to an agreement.

Anger is a reaction that we get when our interpretation of the external situation doesn't match our internal viewpoint. There are many reasons why we get upset, feel misunderstood, or get angry when we are trying to speak to another colleague or friend.

If we are honest, sometimes it has nothing to do with what the other person stated but in how we heard it, interpret it, and react to it. When our point is not being considered it frustrates us and instead of seeking a truce, we go for blood.

But at the core of the angry person is the feeling of being misunderstood. People just want to be understood. They are not asking for much, just for others to get what they are saying.

If that is going to take place we have to start implementing some tools that we can use to help diffuse arguments and increase agreeing with one another. Seeing something from someone else's point of view doesn't mean that you have to adapt their ideology but it does make a huge statement. It says, "I hear you. I see you. And you matter". It reinforces to the other person that you are willing to take time and listen to what they have to say.

There are many ways to combat anger or harmful emotions. But we are going to give you a phrase that is a winning phrase.

"Tell me more about that"....

It's just that simple...

Workplace Example:

Person A: I just don't like how our team does stuff around here....

Person B: Tell me more about that, why do you feel that way?

Home Example:

Spouse A: I had the worst day ever...

Spouse B: I am sorry love, tell me more about it...

Understand that preset notions about a situation will decrease your chance of getting authentic answers, responses, or change. When a person says, "Tell me more about that" you strip yourself of the know-it-all title. This gives you an opportunity to be open-minded and the ability to view it from the perspective of the person you are speaking to.

Handling our emotions is apart of being an effective communicator and leader in the workplace, community, and family unit. It's apart of building a character that will outlast you. Having an accountability partner or coach to help you if you are having issues controlling your emotions at home or in the workplace is something to look into. We can never be too young or old to start evolving for the better.

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