Updated: Nov 25, 2019
Was it really my first Mother's Day?
Hello Joy Carriers!!!
Good Morning. I hope you have had a wonderful week. Don’t think I don’t know that Mother’s Day was Sunday and there was a lot of emotions that was filling your heart space. So I am going to jump right in and address a few things!
JOY will cause you to have a place of INCLUSION when there is clear evidence of EXCLUSION.
Joy is a heart thing.
It is a place where you have learned to be content and embrace peace with the understanding that you cannot change the circumstance. However, you have the power within you to change how to react to the circumstance. You are in control.
There is a place for you. And it starts with you.
Sometimes we can be so over joyed at trying to fit into society standards that we fail to see how excluded things are in our society.
Even though I was very happy about celebrating Mother’s Day with my husband and my baby boy, Carter Hugh Whitfield. I just love that name. If I could make a side note, I would say names have power. What we name our child(ren) has the power to propel them or hinder them. Every time you call them, you are professing that declaration over them. Mothers and Parents who have children now be careful of the names you call your child—especially if it’s outside the name you have given them. I think we all know what I mean when I say “outside their name”.
OK, moving on.
I was elated about this past Mother’s Day. Because I knew the type of healing that had to take place for me to understand this place.
But, Was it really my first Mother’s Day?
According to society I was not “officially a mother” because I had no proof of a child in my arms. However, what about the two that I gave birth to 2 years ago but never got the chance to raise. Never got a change to hold.
How many mothers around the world who have suffered a miscarriage feel left out of the celebration every Mother’s Day because they didn’t have “proof”? Why are we so insensitive to how society has excluded mothers to feel the way that they do. She could be sitting next to you on the bus, but you did not notice her. She could be in your office, but you did not notice her. It could be your sister, mother, or close female friend and you did not notice her.
We have wrapped our minds around this one concept for so long that I feel it has crippled us as a woman and even our marriages. Because society only equates a mother with a woman who gave birth—whether vaginally or by C-section—so when we are unable to have children naturally we don’t feel adequate enough.
If we wanted to, we could just sit right here and talk about how women who have C-Section are looked down upon in society as not having a “real birth”. What is a “real birth”. Whether you had your child vaginally or by C-section did you not have a child? Are you still not a mother? Lets correct that. As people we need to learn how to be sensitive to the issues of those around us.
So if you had a child but the child did not make it past the few days after birth, does that not make you a mother? Did you not bring forth life even though the child didn’t survive?
There is a place for everyone. But we must first believe that we have the right to that place.
Today I want to celebrate you! The one who had to cry in their pillows when Mother’s Day came because you did not know what to call yourself. I call you Mother. I call you strength. I call you an Overcomer.
Happy Mother’s Day to every women who has lost a child, whether you decided to try again, adopt, get a surrogate, or decided to be content where you are. Your strength is contagious and it will bring about change. Just you watch and see.
From Your Fellow Joy Carrier